We feel extremely honored to have such a wise, graceful soul write for The Well Community. Gracie is the wife to Jim, mother to Coby and Robert, grandmother to six grandchildren and great-grandmother to one on the way! Needless to say, she knows a thing or two about love; especially the love a wife has for her husband.
-The Women of The Well
What makes a marriage last a long time? I am no expert but I have been married 50+ years and I have some thoughts about making it last. No one says, “I do” but secretly is thinking, “This is only temporary.” A marriage is based on the promise of “till death do us part.” But why do so many marriages end?
Many forget the commitment they made to God and to each other. Marriage is hard work and the work begins immediately. Never let a day go by without saying “I love you”. Don’t go to bed mad, even if it means staying up all night working it out. Learn to fight fair; never use hurtful words and if it happens, apologize quickly. As time goes by, set aside one day a week for date night. When the boys were small, Jim and I could only afford a babysitter long enough to drive for a cup of coffee. But those nights of conversation were priceless. As years pass, we all change. Do not let life and the world come between you and your spouse. Work hard to grow together. Jim now likes Chinese food and I love football. Believe me, it was not this way at the beginning.
Here are some things I’ve learned throughout the years:
- As women, we need to understand the basic need of the man God has given us. It is respect. He needs our praise, not our criticism. Positivity and uplifting words can breathe life into all marriages.
- Our basic need is security, to know he will care for us and that we are his only one. Both of these needs require constant attention.
- Be there for each other, no matter what. Especially during the times when life is cold and dark. Trust me, those times will come.
- Always pray together. Your husband needs your prayers. As you talk with God, ask for strength and guidance.
Then one day it happens, you have been married 50 years and you can not remember life without each other. You finish each other’s sentences and when he smiles at you from across the room, your heart still skips a beat. He reaches for your hand when you bow to pray at church because you both know you are coming before the Lord as one and no longer two. Yes it is hard work but is so worth it.