Are You #wifestylin? And How I Realized I Wasn’t by Jen Weaver

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We are so excited to welcome our first author, Jen Weaver, to The Well community.  Apart from being a rockstar mom and devoted wife, this Dallas #girlboss also blogs, speaks, hosts conferences, and leads other women to be intentional in their marriages. Talk about doing it ALL! And today she is sharing a little behind the cover of her book, “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness,” centered around aligning your wifestyle. We can’t wait to see how her story blesses each of you and hope you’ll consider grabbing a copy of her newly-released book afterward!

-The Women  of The Well

I love how each woman carries her own sense of style. As a busy teen, my fashion choices screamed “whatever’s clean and easily accessible.” And as a pregnant mom with an energetic toddler, sometimes that shoe still fits. But over the years I’ve discovered a few favorite pieces, a love of white and blue stripes, and an appreciation for that hint of edgy flair in my jewelry or hairstyle—currently a silver ombré.

Whether you exude classic sophistication, street style, or the elegance of country chic, I’ve learned that personal tastes extend to other areas of life. Home décor. Lifestyle design in how we prioritize our time and what activities repeat in our calendars enough to form habits. And a few years ago, I began evaluating another life trend. My wifestyle—the tendencies that frequent my life as a wife.

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If all the pieces in your closet mirrored your current wifestyle and marriage season, what items would make up your wardrobe? Take this fun quiz to find out!

Can I tell you a secret? Even several years into marriage my #wifestylin trends proved more haphazard than intended. Camp t-shirts and jeans may have frequented my grab-and-go teen aesthetic, but that same “whatever’s here” rush somehow snuck into my spousal relationship as well.

Repeat accidents somehow became routines. Some missteps based on convenience and others built through observation or short-sighted selfishness. My marriage was good by most definitions, even my own. Jared and I loved each other and lived in harmony. But I often found myself wondering; Is this all there is? I thought marriage would be more than this. 

In one of those questioning daydreams I realized two important truths:

1. I wasn’t being intentional in how I invested in my marriage.

As embarrassing as it is to admit, I’d spend more time deliberating over the right paint color for the living room or hunting down the perfect outfit for the next big event than I spent making purposeful choices in how I interacted with my husband.

2. My haphazard choices formed a hodgepodge wifestyle, and I didn’t like it.

I pretended that my lack of strategy simply left me without a marital style at all. But the style was there, all mismatched, inconsistent, and often uncomfortable. Even worse, some unintentional choices put me in direct opposition to God’s Word, His will, and hindered me from receiving His blessings for my marriage. I had a wifestyle, but I sure wasn’t #wifestylin according to God’s plan.

And how did I discover all this? You’re going to laugh.

I started writing a marriage book.

I fully believe God dropped this book on my heart because He wanted me to learn the lessons in it. He knew that if I prayed, studied, practiced, and wrote the thing, I’d have to pay attention. I started working on a manuscript around our fourth anniversary. Now, a lot of life experience and an additional five years later, A Wife’s Secret to Happiness (Leafwood Publishers) is available in print and ebook. It’s full of stories of my marital blunders, God’s big moves, and testimonies of how Jesus carried Jared and I through difficult seasons as He wove our marriage cord together.

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And this theme of #wifestylin persisted. Because friends, sometimes big moves of God require bold choices of brave faith. I’ve learned up close and personal how God wants to pour His provision into our laps like sweet spiritual confetti and how our wifestyle habits can attract or reject this divine provision. So much so, that each chapter highlights a specific blessing, the related wifestyle habits, and includes a fun quiz at the end as you talk with God about how the theme applies to your unique marriage.

Unlike shopping trips and watching reruns of Fixer Upper, developing the wifestyle God offers me has been hard. But the return is far greater than anything I could have imagined.

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Connect with Jen on her blog, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and click here to learn more about her book, “A Wife’s Secret to Happiness” or here to buy on Amazon.

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