Why I’m Happy My Dad Remarried

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It’s been over a year and a half since Mom passed away — it’s hard not to think about two years ago at this time, her and Dad were about to head up to Detroit to visit and we were going to take a trip of a lifetime to London and Paris. And now, two years later she’s gone. After 20 months, it’s still hard to accept what life presently looks like. I miss her with every part of my body. There’s still an empty hole in my heart and I pray almost every night that the Lord would bless me with a “mom dream”. I love spending time with her in my dreams.

Last month, after dating Diana for nearly a year, my Dad got remarried. Even with the feelings and emotions that I mentioned above — I am truly happy for him. Don’t get me wrong, it took a lot of soul searching, praying and honest conversations with my Dad to get to this point. After taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture (and stop thinking about myself all the time!) … I am thankful and full of peace.

How can I still grieve the loss of my mom but also be happy my Dad remarried? It’s a total God thing. Here’s why I am happy:

  1. He can live his life.
    There was a time when I was expecting Dad to uphold a marriage that was complete. I unintentionally expected him to continue to live his life like Mom was still here, while we started a new season of our lives. How unfair. I am so thankful that he has Diana to enjoy life with. For example, he loves to travel. But who do you travel with when your spouse passes away? Who wants to see the world alone? Now he has his traveling partner. They took a trip to Niagara Falls after their wedding. We talked a couple times while they were gone and I haven’t heard that kind of joy in my Dad’s voice in a long time. He was truly enjoying life. That alone makes my heart full.
  2. He isn’t alone.
    My Dad loves people. He is the definition of a “people person”. About this time last year, he not only missed my mom every second of the day, he was so lonely. My siblings and I could only do so much — he needed someone. Why would I ever want my Dad to be alone for the rest of his days? (Genesis 2:18) I am so thankful that he doesn’t have to do life alone.
  3. I trust God’s plan.
    In the past year of him and Diana dating, we have seen God’s hand in all of this. For example, as I was cleaning out my Mom’s room to prepare for Diana to move in, I came to the junk drawer. You know, that drawer that has years and years of stuff thrown in there that you’ll get to later. That drawer. As I quickly looked and tossed, I came across a pink envelope. When I turned it over, it read “Diana White” in my mom’s handwriting. Yea, I found a sweet note from my mom to my dad’s new wife that she wrote a few years ago. Now, that’s a God thing.

Of course, I wish my mom was here. I would love for her to be with me when Ria Grace is born or when my little brother got married. But God’s ways are higher and His plan is better. As I trust His plan, I experience His peace and comfort even in the most hardest situations. I am thankful my Dad has Diana (also known as Grammie to Ria Grace!) — they couldn’t make a more perfect pair.

There are 33 comments

By Michelle Greene | October 9, 2017 at 10:15 am

LOVE this so much sister!! Love that God has led you to this point and love your peace!! Thankful for our GROWING FAMILY!!

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 9:01 am

Love you, sister! Thankful the Lord has moved in my life!! If anyone knows, it’s you!

By Sandy W | October 9, 2017 at 10:49 am

Thank you Kandyce for sharing with us I have to admit I read it crying and I still am. Gods Grace is sufficient. I miss your mom and can’t wait to hug her neck again. I am happy for your dad, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be left alone after a lifetime of love. I’m so glad we have Father that meets all our needs.

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 9:01 am

Amen, Sandy. Love you!

By John | October 9, 2017 at 11:09 am

Thanks to my beautiful daughter for writing a sweet heart felt article. No one knows the feeling of a spouse that’s left behind unless you have walked that path. There is despair, sadness,loneliness and most of all a hole left in your heart. I was numb to everything around me but God, my children and loving friends kept me afloat. But like Kandyce says God’s plan is so much greater than our own. Yes, Diana was put into my life for a reason. She has given me happiness & a zest for life again & has shown me the fullness of God’s love for me. Our prayer together is that we may show God’s love to everyone through us..

By Sandy w | October 9, 2017 at 11:57 am

John, I pray our Father will bless you Diana in abundance as you choose to reflect HIM.

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 9:00 am

You’re the best, Dad. And so loved by your family.

By Marcia Shumway | October 9, 2017 at 11:44 am

I am already crying and I have not even gotten past the Title.

By Diana Rodgers | October 9, 2017 at 11:48 am

Kandyce, You are an example of God’s grace. I see your precious godly mom in you & your fun loving, caring dad in you. This marriage wasn’t in the long range plan I had for my life BUT…God had another plan. Now, not only do I get to love my children & grandchildren , I get to love a very sweet man , his children & his grandchildren. God’s ways are GOOD & his plan is MORE than we can ever ask or imagine. I Love You ! Diana /aka Grammie

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:59 am

You are such a blessing to our family. We all are thrilled. Love you!

By Nancy Heindl | October 9, 2017 at 12:12 pm

What a wonderful testament to your Mother and your Dad’s wife, Diana.

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:58 am

It’s definitely all the Lord and His Grace. Thanks so much for reading.

By Cheryl Denton | October 9, 2017 at 12:59 pm

You are my little hero… Shero Your mom is so evident in you… every part of you. Ria Grace’s world will be larger and more beautiful because of your wisdom and strength!!! Prayers for The Rodgers/Kudjo family❤️❤️❤️ God shines in all of you so abundantly… come on baby Ria Grace… it’s gonna be a beautiful life.. I love you. And I am so proud of you❤️❤️❤️

By Kathy VanCleave | October 9, 2017 at 1:40 pm

Kandyce, this is beautiful and you are amazing. Made me cry.

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:57 am

Love you, Kathy! P.S. you snuck out of church real quick on Saturday!!

By Tonya Chesser | October 9, 2017 at 9:18 pm

Kandyce you are truly a piece of great Godly women in your life those would be GRANDMA BETTY and YOUR MOM. You are right up there with those ladies of walking and sharing your Godly life. May GOD BLESS you and your family. I to lost my mother and I was happy that my dad could remarry as well.

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:57 am

Thank you so much, Tonya! Those two women are the greatest I’ve ever known. I couldn’t be more thankful they helped mold me into the person the Lord created me to be. And he still has a lot of work to do, believe me!

By Deziray Click | October 9, 2017 at 9:40 pm

So beautiful, so mature and so loving!

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:55 am

Love you, Dez!

By Bridget Trimble | October 9, 2017 at 9:52 pm

Kandyce, this was so beautifully said and yes Momma dreams are the best!!!

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:55 am

Thank you, Bridget! I hope you all are doing well.

By Sharon Dodd, MD | October 9, 2017 at 10:07 pm

Kandyce, this was so beautifully written. I will look for more from you.

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:54 am

Thank you for reading, Sharon.

By Christina Kokojan | October 9, 2017 at 10:18 pm

You are one of the strongest people I know! You always have a way of finding the good in situations and in life. That is something I truly admire. Love you!

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:54 am

Love you, little. Thank you for your sweet words.

By Jody White | October 9, 2017 at 11:59 pm

Kandyce,
This was so thoughtful and meaningful. I always knew your mom and dad as the most kind and pleasant people. After high school, I came to know Michelle and John (Jr.) and have had positive feelings towards them as well. Our family couldn’t be happier and feel lucky to get the chance to get to know you, Jermelle, Chase, Taylor and all the additions to come. I expect nothing less than love, friendship and fun from this new formation of our families.
Peace,
Jody

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:54 am

Thank you so much, Jody. I think there are lots of fun times to come between our two families! I’m excited to see all that the Lord has planned!

By Asia Saffold | October 10, 2017 at 12:16 am

This just made my night ! Our God is so good! It’s a blessing to witness him working in your life, even from a distance ! Love you !

By Kandyce Cudjo | October 10, 2017 at 8:52 am

Thanks so much for reading, friend. He is so good, we definitely need to catch up soon! Love you, girl.

By Mary Flowers | October 10, 2017 at 11:13 am

Kandyce, you are awesome! Not sure I could do this. But God always has a plan and it’s so much better than what we think. I love you girlie!

By Ashley Hale | October 10, 2017 at 12:10 pm

I am so so proud of you sweet friend! What an inspiration you are!!! <3 <3

By Kimberly Loggins | November 5, 2017 at 5:58 am

Kandyce I just happened to run across “The Well” today, which I’m sure was a God thing. I worked for your dad 30 years ago at the pharmacy when I was in high school. In my adult life I have shared Emmaus with Diana. I remember the day I ran into Diana at the bank and she pulled me aside to share she was dating someone. It was joyous; the happiness in her voice and sparkle in her eyes. Months later I ran into them both at a community function. Upon visiting and sharing of stories you could tell Gods hand was at work. Many times it’s hard for us to remember our plan is not God’s plan. We have to open our hearts and have faith in believing his plans are ultimate. Thank you for sharing your story; what a great testimony!

By Kandyce Cudjo | November 5, 2017 at 10:11 am

Thank you so much for sharing! The Lord has definitely worked everything out. We are thankful they are both so happy. I’ll make sure to tell them you read the blog and reached out!

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