When it comes to having a fur-child, dog moms can be a little over-the-top. And between the baby talking and grooming techniques that must not be mentioned in this article, I should know as well as anyone. These puppies of ours are basically like human children… only dog-shaped and capable of being put in a crate without it frowned upon.
We think about our dogs ALL the time and go to extreme measures to make sure they feel loved. But when you really focus on some of the nuances we have in common as dog moms, you will begin to realize that we may just be, ever-so-slightly, crazy as fluff. Here are 10 things we do that illustrate it best!
1. We share everything with our dogs
Beds, couches, food… you name it. If I’m privy to a luxury, so are my pooches.
2. We overuse pet names
I have made up so many random noises and sounds that my poor dogs probably don’t even know their actual names at this point. While their formal names are Isabelle and Sebastian, they go by Belle & Bash in addition to these terms of endearment.
For Belle: She started as “The Little Girl” which quickly became “The Little Growl” which then turned to “The Leeto Growl.” And it only went downhill from there. “Leeto” to “Lilo” to “Neeno” to “Neto” and currently at “Lilo Lilo” and “Neens.” She will also go by “Monsieur Belle-Belle” on occasion, “Ja-beau” (pronounce Sha-Bow), “Baby Seal,” and “Mew.” And, of course, songs to accompany each of those.
For Bash: He mostly goes by “Little Man” with other common choices being “Bashums”, “Jar-Jar” (on account of how he looks like Jar Jar Binks) and “Master Splinter.” He’s only six months old though, so there’s still time to tack on a few dozen others.
3. We buy 3M lint rollers like they’re going out of business
If I had a Sam’s Club membership, it only would be to buy lint rollers. Although they are mostly used to no avail, I will spend entire rolls to get hair off of various upholstered items around the house. All the while, not complaining. Because I love those little fur-balls with all my heart.
4. We become their biggest advocates
Maybe what this looks like for you is an unspoken club among other dog moms for your pet’s breed. Or 30 hashtags on your Instagram photo all sounding something similar to #dalmationsofinstagram. For me, it was a really unexpected, yet fervent feeling of responsibility to speak up for my dog. I had never given a second thought to pitbulls before we got Belle. But now I find myself wanting to beat people over the head who have prejudice against them. In fact, I tell my husband all the time I would run a pitbull rescue farm if we had the money and resources. They are totally misunderstood, and Belle is no exception. But she’s also the most loyal and compassionate dog I’ve ever been around. So (ahem) Springfield, MO… get your act together and don’t make me come up there.
5. We have skewed priorities on finances
Oh, what’s that? Ben wants new Crossfit shoes? Sorry, too expensive. But, wait… Belle hasn’t pooped in three days?! Take my money and get that girl an X-ray! (based on the true story when we discovered she doesn’t like mud)
6. We overreact to everything
Fitting right along with my example from #5 is the tendency to blow every minor ailment out of proportion. This is one attribute I feel will be exponentially worse when Ben and I have kids, because I fret and fuss over my dogs obsessively. They may just be a little bit lethargic, but in my head it’s a fatal disease. I’m embarrassed by how often I’ve consulted PetMD.com.
7. We go the extra mile… literally
Normal people out walking their dogs may take the easiest routes. Dog moms with reactive dogs cross the street, jump behind shrubs, and turn into driveways to avoid things that scare their dog. In Belle’s case, that’s literally everything — strangers, balloons, plastic bags, vacuums, aluminum foil, beach balls, brooms, guitars, large stuffed animals… I could go on and on. A quick jaunt around the neighborhood could easily end up being a 5K event.
8. We bring every conversation back to our dog
Sorry, not sorry. You’ve got a cute story about your kid and some pictures to share? I’ve got a better one about my dog and fifty accompanying photos you just HAVE to see.
9. We don’t notice when our dogs are annoying a non-dog lover
Bash may be begging for food between your legs or licking your hand for 10 minutes, but don’t expect me to chastise him. I’m too desensitized at this point. Plus, doesn’t everyone love scratchy puppy tongue and questionable-smelling saliva on their skin?
10. We think all dogs are great, but ours are the BEST