A few weekends ago, Ben and I (like millions of other Netflixers across the world) binged through all of 13 Reasons Why, based on the book of the same name by Jay Asher. Not necessarily realizing the hype that was already swirling around the series, we were simply drawn in by the compelling development of characters and the chilling narrative that hooks right from the start.

I tend to try and avoid polarizing topics as a rule, especially when I know I’m way out of my league on a basis of fact-based knowledge. But after reading articles after the release of 13 Reasons Why, I felt compelled to share a few points from my own perspective. I don’t claim to be an expert in this area, so please take my words for what they are worth… solely reflections and lessons learned. So if you’ve come to read an article bashing the show’s direction and impact, you’ve come to the wrong place. It is my belief that there are multiple dangers presented in the content, especially for impressionable teens considering suicide or even adults battling a painful past of self-harm. But the profound implications of this talked about series have also raised awareness of life-altering issues going on around us. And that was absolutely the case for me — possibly for the first time in my life.

1. Any child is capable of bullying

As of this May, I will have been out of high school for 10 years. Watching this series brought back vivid memories of experiences in those halls. And while time has certainly allowed for change in technology and the social climate since 2007, one glaringly obvious constant remains: bullying. As we know, bullying can take on different forms, but what we often forget is that it can emerge from even unlikely sources. Bullies come from privilege and from loss; from the content as well as the distressed. I was top of my class, involved in multiple sports and extra-curriculars, and had a 99% attendance record — a “good kid” from anyone’s standards. Yet I’m here to tell you that I’m as guilty as they come. I passed along various damaging rumors with questionable validity, publicly shamed, and even verbally harassed another girl (with whom I’ve since apologized). All this not even taking into account the instances I may have unknowingly affected peers in a negative way. This is not to say that bullying is the sole cause for suicide, because what 13 Reasons Why fails to acknowledge is the presence of mental illnesses. It is however, a discussion that needs to be had if not only to help the next generation develop into decent and compassionate human beings. Recognize that your child’s actions and words affect others in the same way that the words and actions of their classmates could affect your child. Then take responsibility before issues arise.

2. Families are failing now more than ever

Another huge take-away for me was the realization that family involvement can be the tipping point between inclusion and withdrawal. So many of the students represented in the show came from what appeared to be healthy family units. Yet, no parents were aware of what was really going on behind-the-scenes in their children’s lives. I think this is where families are failing. Years worth of walls being built without attempts to scale them leads to inevitable separation. But if we start early on gathering at the dinner table, making time for activities together on a weekly basis, and striking up open communication, it sets the example before children move into the independent and developmental years of young-adulthood. Taking an active role as a parent is certainly not the easy way, but inviting your child to speak honestly and acting as a listening ear is an influential force only you can wield. Even when you feel you can’t relate, just letting them know you love them and care about what they are feeling and going through can make all the difference. It’s normal to not know what to say — just choose to say something.

3. Teen suicide needs to be an open topic of discussion

Getting through the last scenes of this series was difficult. In fact, I literally could not watch the heartbreaking moment in which Hannah Baker makes the decision to end her own life. And to think of that decision being a very real resolution for countless others like her is a heavy thing to take in. It’s an even harder thing for me to express knowledgeable opinions on since I have never dealt with depression, suicidal thoughts, or even been a victim of bullying. What I can talk about is how I was affected by 13 Reasons Why. Honestly, I can appreciate the intent. I admittedly do not know enough about mental health issues, as well as signs and solutions. Therefore, the light that has been shed on this issue has only been positive for me. At the same time, I understand how this visual content that has profoundly effected my views, could also bring a lot of pain and causality for those living through the same struggles as Hannah.

The facts tell us that suicide is the second leading cause of death in persons aged 15-34. And if that’s not enough to get the discussions to flow freely, I don’t know what is. Let us care for our youth and let them know the things we wished we could have told Hannah. That she had worth beyond measure. That she was deserving of love. And that while there may have been what seemed like 13 reasons to end it all, there were countless more to keep going.

I am absolutely open to any opinions on this controversial topic, so please feel free to leave a comment.

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts today, please tell someone and consider contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).